Crazy Things Happen in Agbowo, University of Ibadan and here’s some of it

Crazy things ‘appen in Agbowo ui and here’s some of it:
For starters, Agbowo has to be the most spontaneous place I have ever lived. Yes, my guys from Lagos can say that’s a lie but seriously for me it was rather interesting to wake up to people shouting ‘ole', ‘ole'! Egbami! Why are you stealing by past 7am???? They didn’t catch the thief though but I heard he snatched money from an okada man. Leemao

Now, this second one us not just an Agbowo problem, but an Ibadan thing or maybe even Oyo. Why are you opening your shop by 11am? Please why? If you ever see a shop in Ibadan open before 11am, check well, the person is from the east or spent sometime in Lagos before settling in Ibadan.

One gbish and everywhere scatter!
Maybe this one is just me ohh, but I cannot here a sound likened to a gunshot and my body will be okay for the next few minutes following it. But I really want to believe that this has happened to the best of us. One sound, gbas! And I’m aready running to check if my door is properly bolted whilst sketching out an escape route.

Overpriced face-me houses which Agbowo landlords have used to cash out. 

Should we even talk about it? Most people live in face-me houses that have been turned to hostel for students and if you’re lucky, then it has just been recently renovated. If not, I’m pretty sure the housing agent said something like: single room in a conducive environment, easy access to water, friendly neighbors and a two minute walk to UI. Easy access to water doesn’t mean running water by the way and two minutes walk to UI is most likely eight.

Since we are talking about water, let us talk about Agbowo wells. The thing is, they just all happen to dry up once it is dry season. Like right now, a slay queen like myself carried bucket down the street to fetch water.  They told us easy access to water.

The frequent NEPA light.
I like to think badly of Agbowo and Ibadan at large even though I’d rather stay here than Lagos cause of the traffic, but I must commend the frequency of the light they give us at this side. Of course, this is Nigeria and the transformer spoils a couple of times, outside that, its been bliss ere and dere with this light. Rumour has it that a NEPA official has fallen in love with a girl from Agbowo. Keep it up queen!

Everywhere noiseeeee! 
I think I have it really bad because I live beside three churches, one mosque, a school and opposite a woman that grinds pepper. Perfect combination for exam period don’t you think? Oh, I like to add that there’s an MFM church in the mix. Delicious!

Agbowo bread. 
Now, this one is my highlight for being in Agbowo. These guys have the best bread I’ve ever eaten. Definitely one of the things keeping me in Agbowo. Yes, my love for bread beats my fear of robbery. My house location also gives me easy access to #50 moi-moi. Definitely wouldn’t find that in Lagos. Although I fear she’s using us for juju because even when beans was rumored to be #100k per bag this woman still had our backs. Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. (Do put me in your prayers though).

This one is an all time classic. Easily goes platinum with no features. Crossing the road! 
The most painful thing that can happen to you in this side of the world is missing out in the group crossing. You’re running and about to meet up with the bunch of people ready to cross the road together and boom, they go off before you can get there. Sigh! I’ve suffered this a little too much. If you’ve ever crossed the road with me, you know how terrible I am in that business.

The rude and equally prayerful market women
I seem to have a toxic relationship with Agbowo market women. I don’t go to Bodija because I’m a slay queen and sapa never panel beat me, so I settle for my women in Agbowo. One day I wanted to buy those round fish and I went to my customer to get some. While I was selecting the ones I wanted, this woman legit told me to stop touching the fish with my left hand. Pahdin???? You want to sell or you don’t want? Asides from that one which is particular to every Nigerian as it may seem, these women are quick to curse you but they would definitely make you come back when they pray for you. I’ve had two elderly women pray for me while I was buying stuff from them. Shit was really nice and touching. Of course, they may curse me or annoy me some other time. But what did I say about being a toxic relationship with these women?

The icing on the cake would be the olode's (late night guards) for me. 
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t a night guards job to keep watch of a place while people sleep? These guys have a different plan though. They hit metal instruments on peoples gates whilst chanting, ‘e ma sun oh! Orun iya, orun ofo!’(don’t sleep oh! Stupid sleep, useless sleep.) Now tell me, I’m an old woman, I don’t stay up late to press phone and I don’t have anybody’s son to keep me up. What am I to do between 1am-3am? Of course, I’ve prayed. Please do your work and let me sleep. A friend told me told me that the olode in his side is even more special. Those guys choose the night when people are sleeping to  shoot into the air!!!!!! Eskiss sir, no offence, but is everything okayyy???? Catch thief, they didn’t catch. Na to dey make person heart wey no steal anything dey do jimjim. Mtcheeew

Asides from the constant fear of robbery ere and dere, crazy landlords with housing agents that just always lie, transformers that spoil a little too often, the special night guards and shop owners that stare at people till you want to enter the ground. Agbowo is a kind of nice place to live in. It brought out an element of ruggedness in me I didn’t realise I had.

© Falegan Tunmise 

Falegan Tunmise is a 300 level student of the University of Ibadan, department of Agronomy where she serves as the PRO.

She enjoys reading, writing, spending time with friends and having good conversations.

12/Post a Comment/Comments

  1. I love this writer already 😭❤️

  2. Thinking back to when I stayed at Agbowo... This write up really cracked me up
    Good job👍👍

  3. I love this write-up keep it up

  4. So relatable, leemao 😂😂

  5. Make una leave Agbowo for us.
    We like am like that 😅

  6. So true, especially the night guard part😂😂😂, those guys😆😂

  7. 😂😂😂 it's interesting and very funny, thanks for making me laugh and for the information too

  8. What a perfect blend of entertainment and journalism, containing all the necessary condiments to keep the reader excited and interested all the way. Well done ma! And it's the ruggedness part for me 😅

  9. Double twale for the writer
    You're really doing well

    You should consider a shot at Journalism tho


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