Rewriting the feminist narrative: Bride price/Dowry & the Female - Deborah Oludimu


Rewriting the feminist narrative: Bride price/Dowry & the Female.

Rewriting the feminist narrative: Bride price/Dowry & the Female - Deborah Oludimu

Customs as per different cultures require certain demands/expectations be met before the finalization or authentication of a marriage. One of which happen to be the controversial issue of Dowry and Bride price also known as Reverse Dowry.
Neither of which is compatible with the dignity of the female.
From the layman's point of view, vague statements and thesis may be and will be made, such as "If feminists want gender equality they should begin to pay groom price" or "bride price opposes gender equality" etc etc, broad, incoherent and definitely confusing.

There is significant difference between the dowry and the bride price both of which still boil down to the same thing; commodification of the female.
Dowry which is most common, is payment such a property or money, paid by the bride's family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage. This used to be a common practice in Indian communities backed up by the notion that unless a woman is married, she has no dignity, therefore the bride's family had to pay the groom for agreeing to get married to their daughter and take away her "shame". It is now Illegal in India tho' (Thank God!)

Bride price which is also known as reverse dowry, less common globally but highly popular here in Nigeria, is payment by the groom or his family to the bride's family. The booty and motive differ from culture to culture yet still have a common narrative; commodification of the female.

Rewriting the feminist narrative: Bride price/Dowry & the Female. - Deborah Oludimu

Custom and folktale in the Palestine had it well known in Artas as in other villages exactly what the bride price should customarily be—so much for a cousin bride, so much more for a village bride, more still for a stranger.
(I see no difference in that act and pricing goods from new to second hand and third hand and so on and so forth)

In Lucy Moore's Founding Mothers, "Virginian husbands would pay a bride price  of 150 pounds of tobacco, then worth about £22 about seven years’ salary for a domestic maid" (that analogy used by the authoress in the sense that a wife's duties was no different from that of a maid, the only difference here is her salary had been paid before hand to her family).

It is on this basis you see Nigerian men dragging the issue of bride price and rubbing it in your face as a lady, that "I paid your bride price" translated to them as I HAVE BOUGHT YOU.

Really? Probably 24 pieces of yam, Two bottles of schnapps, uhm, what else again? Some fruits and a Token of maybe 5-10k and you think you've bought an entire human being??

In other cultures, Exorbitant prices may be placed on the female to be paid by her intending husband. Commodification of a HUMAN BEING to the highest bidder, slamming capitalism on a child at birth.

Another hoax by patriarchy facilitating the objectification and inferiority of the Female and in other clauses, a detriment to the females' FHR.

To the laymen who probably desire to be paid groom price, dowry is illegal😁.
You're left with a choice: total reverse dowry. I'd happily pay 24 tubers of yam, two bottles of schnapps, some fruits and perhaps 10k, to ensure FRESH food on my Table daily, a clean home to come to, total submissiveness( if you own a car or house before we get married , transfer it to my name after marriage, if I ask you to leave your Job, please do without delay) I have paid your bride price and honoured  you with marriage.😁

©Deborah Oludimu

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