Gender Diaries: Body Shaming - Deborah Oludimu



PhotoCredit: How to Deal With Body Shaming - GOQii

Deborah Oludimu


Being done with my morning routine at work, I stepped out to get brunch. The shop keeper was absent but had left her business in the care of her teenage daughter who had always shown to me an exaggerated insincere kindness laced with the unsaid, I simply went along with he flow. It was a Saturday, she had no classes so she entertained her friends.

As soon as I got within two yards of he store, their chatting stopped and their eyes trailed me. One of the three girls then broke the silence by commenting on my body shape in "coded" language:

"No Chelsea, No Barca” they all giggled and I played dumb
I happen to fall into the category of girls described as Straight girls, Figure One etc. In plain language, No brezz, no ass no hipsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Was I body shamed?

The human mind, an amazingly fascinating system and, even more fascinating is  a gathering  of minds--- the society. Neither of the two is constant, which explains the consistent evolving of our society. What then is given the tag acceptable is never fixed. The world's view of beauty, the perfect body wildly publicized by fashion magazines, bloggers and other related media, evolves everyday. And then with each passing generation there's the struggle of younger ones especially females, born by the pressure to fit into that unrealistic image of beautiful. You don't fit into a shallow narrow description of beauty, then you're not and expect body shaming almost all your life.

Body shaming, a term which i'm quite sure didn't exist up until about 20 years ago has now gone viral, thanks to social media tho', is one of the leading causes of suicide amongst teenagers who have been deceived and absorbed into the system of having to fit in and FOMO.




The obsession to control other people's bodies, especially women's bodies the society supposedly owns, continually echoes "You're too tall, you're too short, too plump, too thin, too straight, too curvy, too much ass, no ass, too much brezz, no brezz, too fair, too dark, too curly et kinky hair etc etc is the unending list of the ideas of perfection, which only create problems in the long run: low self esteem, inferiority complex and even suicide.

Now, I can't simply by writing an article on this issue wave a wand and expect an end to body shaming, neither can anyone. Some humans can just be scum and there'll be a lot of them as long as earth still rotates round the sun.
Understanding the fact that there are sick humans, sick institutions and even sicker statues in place  seeking to bring others down using their bodies no matter how it is constructed just gives you the boldness to say :Fuck this, Fuck this idea of the utopian dream of perfection.

And then be proud of the way you were built. Take pride in you and tho' they'll still spew trash, you'll find it easier to take it in your stride.

If cutting yourself off from people who constantly bring you down by using an innate feature of yours works, do so!

I have always been bullied about the way I sound/speak, (chipmunk voice to be precise)  I never thought it was body shaming till I decided to write this. Recently I cut off the last persons whose comment hurt. He asked me to change the way i speak it isn't "impossible"

While the typical Nigerian is trying to learn how to enunciate like an "Americanah" I was to sound like the typical NigerianπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ messed up

Perfection is relative, you are your own ideal perfect. L.O.V.E Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F.
Love the way you were built, tall, short, plump, slim, thin, curvy, straight,dark, fair, endowed or not.

Every other thing will fall into place.

Back to the question.
Was I body shamed?
I wasn't, the girls spewed trash because they didn't know any better...


Deborah Oludimu





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2 Comments

  1. This is a wonderful piece Debbie. Educating the society on topics of interest like this will go a long way in molding right values to the younger ones.

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